My life with boys…

  1. Boys do not understand that if your snot rag misses the garbage can, it does not magically levitate into the can when you don’t bother to pick it up. There’s no notice that I am that magic levitation. ME! I AM THE MAGIC!
  2. Boys do not seem to notice when they leave a really gross mess in the toilet. I don’t know what goes on with dudes butt’s since I’m not a dude, but I swear they are different. They leave such nasty messes. And it doesn’t seem to bother them to the point I’m not sure they even notice it. If you do notice it, why would you leave it for everyone else to gaze upon?
  3. Boys think I’m stupid. When I ask a question (this morning I asked if they’d taken their allergy meds. I was told yes.) and they immediately busy themselves doing the things they JUST TOLD ME THEY DID ALREADY they don’t seem to think I notice. Here’s a notice to the male squad in my house, just because you aren’t in my line of sight doesn’t mean I’m unable to hear what you’re doing. I hear you digging into the allergy medicine with gusto. You can just say “Oh, I’ll take that now.” Not “YES I already DID that!” with slight attitude. See if I remind you next time. You can drown in your own snot.
  4. Very, very rarely, boys will make you smile. Usually right when you’re about to break them into pieces for 1-3. And I’m pretty sure they know what they’re doing and it’s just a way to keep from being broken, but it works. I’m almost positive it’s the only reason humans didn’t die out.
  5. Come on guys, seriously, you MUST look at the toilet once you’re done. Who wouldn’t? Apparently, it’s the equivalent of an elephant going in there, you MUST look at that in wonder (you are still pretty small… did that even come out of you without surgery?!). So when it leaves a trail, why wouldn’t you clean that you disgusting little wierdos?!

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