Weebles learning the meaning of consent…

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Having been involved in animal rescue for most of my adult life there are a ridiculous number of animals in my life. I currently live with a dog, two cats, and a sorta cat. Everyone who knows me knows of the Weebster, but for those who don’t, I have a mentally handicapped cat. He has congenital hypothyroidism which is extremely rare in cats and we didn’t get the diagnosis in time to prevent significant mental impairment. Physically he has bounced back significantly, but he’s a bit “slow” mentally. Weebs has a good quality of life and is not in pain, so we get to muddle through life trying to figure out how to cope with an extremely unique cat.

 

Tiny baby weebles

Weebs gotcha day!

 

 

 

Bottle Fed Weebles

Learning how bottles work.

 

 

 

Hungry Weebs

Transitioning to solid foods with grace and style.

 

 

Blogging weebs

Starting to be mobile and look more like a cat and less like an Ewok.

Weebs was stuck in bottle-fed kitten status much longer than he should have been, so he didn’t become mobile and independent until I’d moved cross country for work.  Once mobile he only had my older dog for company. He never saw other animals and rarely saw other people for just over a year.

Chicklets

That is his normal expression. Not a result of catnip.

Now that we’ve come back to the east coast I have moved in with my friend boy. Friend boy was given many nicknames but the one that stuck was Mancandy. He already had two rescue cats who were unsure about my dog and absolutely hated my poor cat who doesn’t know how to cat.

Most cats communicate with their body language, vocalizations, and will use aggression tactics in many situations if boundaries are not respected. WBS (Wee Baby Seamus, Weebles, Weebs, etc) had never seen another cat much less interacted with one. He responds to stimuli in an extremely delayed fashion and is OCD. He doesn’t hear well so vocal cues are often completely ignored and if he does hear something he will respond several minutes later and often with the wrong response.

Amazed

We’ve only recently been able to let him mingle with the other cats. He took one look at Tsuki and fell in love. She took one look and wanted nothing to do with him. Weebs was not the least bit put off by her lack of affection. He follows her constantly. He gazes at her with a devotion bordering on obsession. Tsuki is his moon and the stars in his sky and he must be near her. He has been hissed at, growled at, smacked, rolled, and none of it has had any impact on his devotion. She was distracted by treats yesterday and he got to actually stand next to her without getting smacked down. He leaned over, sniffed like a total creep, and fluttered his eyes. Think silence of the lambs level disturbing. She finished her treats, noticed the lack of respect for her touch bubble, and let him have it.

 

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He so loves her. She’s so over it.

 

 

She figured out a while back that if she gets up on furniture it takes a while for him to find her. The above picture was him finding her after about 30 minutes of looking. His idea of searching for his beloved is wandering around talking to himself (cute little trilling noises), yelling for her (typical annoying loud cat ME-FREAKING-OW noises), spinning (it’s weird and he does it a lot), and making the same loop through our house repeatedly.

 

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Can I just touch near you?

 

Once found Tsuki tries to ignore him. But he just can’t stop himself! He must be closer. He annoys her to the point she starts talking trash as soon as he gets near. The Instagram account link on the sidebar has a video of her telling him off. And his completely baffled expression in response.

While the past 8 months have involved saving Weebles from the “big cats”, now my days involve saving the big cats from the cat who couldn’t figure out how to save himself when he got sucked into the couch cushions. No lie. Exhibit A:

 

Couch sucks

It’s cool. I’ll just lay here until I starve to death while you take pictures and laugh.

 

I hate that none of our animals want anything to do with him (the next animal that enters this house will do so under the requirement that they allow Weebs to stick his face in their mouth and smell them in an exceptionally creepy fashion whenever he wants), but in good news, he’s not smart enough to realize he’s the last kid picked for dodgeball. Happy Friday folks!

 

PS. If you are looking for a new best friend please consider rescue. There are so many really amazing animals just waiting for a chance. The rescue closest to my heart is Southern Cross Animal Rescue (SCAR) in Laurel MS. Another organization I’m incredibly fond of is The Humane Society of the White Mountains in Arizona. They do incredible work. Find your next best friend at a shelter instead of buying. You’ll save two lives and you will be part of the solution instead of the problem.

 

He doesn’t find this as funny as I do…

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Sleeping Mancandy is a jerkwad. He knows this, I know this, it is what it is. Yesterday I was pretty darn high on some sort of allergy concoction. After untold time staring into the distance my eyes dried out, my contacts revolted, and I decided sleep was a fine idea. I felt the bed move a bit and knew one of the cats had joined me, but I didn’t pay any attention before passing out. I woke up to notice a few things. Tsuki was my bed buddy, her snortles are really adorable, the dog also snores pretty darn cute, and something stunk like cat pee. Thankfully it wasn’t me. Unfortunately, it was Tsuki.

I would love to know how the cat ends up occasionally reeking of cat piss, but she’s not telling. My theory is that another cat pees on her face in a dominance thing. Mancandy thinks she’s just gross and rolls in it. Either way, it is her head that stinks. Not her backend (in case anyone thinks I’m just too stupid to notice the cat has a urinary tract infection).

I stripped the sheets and my comforter (of course she decided to lay on my blanket) and put them out to wash after I was through washing clothes. I went downstairs to do stuff and promptly forgot about the clothes in the wash much less the stinky bed stuff. When we made our way upstairs to get ready for bed last night, I realized I didn’t have a blanket. I had clean sheets that I had handily not bothered to fold and put away from the last time I did laundry, so I just popped those on and figured I’d share Mancandy’s blanket for one night.

Yes, we have separate blankets. Yes, I’d forgotten why we’d even started that. We started it because he’s a jerkface who accuses me of being a jerkface. He steals all the dang covers and then rolls his happy, covered up burrito self over until I’m barely hanging onto the edge of the bed and breathes in my face while I teeter, shivering, on the edge of death. And while awake Mancandy is generally a pretty sweet guy, sleeping Mancandy is a complete jerkwad. If I tell him to move over he grunts at me. Sometimes he tells me to hush. Sometimes he will try to smother me. It’s a mystery wrapped in murderous intent.

But he swears I’m the one who steals the covers and he’s an innocent victim. I’m just letting him be wrong. But anywho, all of that to say, last night I spent most of the night chilly and angry. And when he yanked those covers back right before dawn I drifted off with a lot of Italian anger bottled up. And I may or may not have dreamed I shot him in his smug blanket stealing face with a shotgun so that I could tell him what a big jerk he was without interruption. And I may or may not have enjoyed yanking the closet door open where he was innocently dressing for work and smugly announcing I dreamed I shot him in the face and woke up in a good mood before slamming the closet door shut in his face around 5:30 am. And I may have been the only one amused. And I regret nothing.

Head Bonks and Kitty Snortles

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Tsuki (pronounced Sue-Kee) is a green-eyed, solid black smallish cat that owns us.

Tsuki Grass Attack

Tsuki pretending she wasn’t just eating grass.

She came to Mancandy about 6 years ago as a tiny black fluff. It happened to be Halloween and some kids were giving away tiny black kittens. This one ended up in the hood of the pullover Mancandy wore as he gave out candy to trick-or-treaters. Mancandy gets into Halloween. Big time. He decorates and makes even the shiest child explain their costume. I would have been horrified to have to speak to a stranger as a child, but he is serious about every costume and every child and every bit of candy. They will earn their sweets dammit.

This past year I worked but got home in time for the last few gaggles of kids. Since I’ve been an adult (I use that terminology loosely) I’ve not lived anyplace that got much trick or treat traffic. However, some of my best childhood memories are of Halloween and the pure joy of dressing up as whatever I wanted and parading around in a costume all day and an actual parade in my costume and then running around getting all the candy I could possibly stuff in my pumpkin pail. That is kid paradise. When I pulled up to the house there were little superheroes and witches and werewolves everywhere. It was a bit like being a kid again and I was pretty pumped to see the candy giving action.

The candy action was not a disappointment. My dog had worn herself out trying to tell off all the trick or treaters and was snoring loudly. The kids were coming in small waves (it was getting late and it was a school night). Apparently, it was the end of the rush and these were the stragglers. I was tired from a long shift on my feet and sat listening to the craziness and peeking at costumes to match with voices from the living room window. My favorite was a little boy in a lion outfit that was scared to come on the porch. There was a hanging decoration we affectionately refer to as “Death” who was dangling from the porch light.  Mr. Lion was not having it.  I heard a high-pitched but very determined voice say “NO!  No, I’m not going. Nope.”

Mancandy was not letting a kid get away without candy, so he took Death down and put him on the porch.  “Come look! He is just an empty costume. It’s okay!”.  The lion’s mom chimed in, “It’s fake! Go on up there and get your candy, all the other kids are!”

“NO!”

“I promise he won’t hurt you!” Mancandy was crouched down.  He was turning Death over and showing he was mostly black fabric hanging in various layers.

I then hear a small grunt and the distinctive sound of Mancandy laughter.  “Alright then!” in a bemused but amused (that was fun to type) tone of voice.  He came in still laughing as he explained that Mr. Lion had gathered up his courage, run up to the porch, kicked the crap out of Death, grabbed his candy, and ran away.  I like that kid.

All that to say, Tsuki sat in that hood for hours and didn’t try to escape. As a kitten that’s fairly rare behavior. And she found herself with a home. Other pets have been added, but Tsuki remains the boss and is the favored fuzzy of Mancandy. She acts more like a dog than a cat.  She enjoys following us on our walks/jogs, prefers my dog to the other cats, and has zero fear.  She also head bonks.  If Tsuki loves you, there’s no doubt.  She’ll walk up to you and smack her head into yours.  Sometimes it’s a gentle bonk, sometimes you see stars and your eyes water.  She also does goofy stuff like find a window she can watch you from and when she’s ready to come in, hangs on the screen and yells.

Tsuki Somebodys watching me

Sometimes I feel like….somebody’s watching me…..

This morning I went out early and mowed the yard.  I, of course, got too hot (I’m the most ridiculous delicate thing about heat), and had a serious headache by the time I got showered off and changed. I laid down to see if that would help the pain ease up and Tsuki came to help me nap. Her version of help goes as follows:

Circle approximately 20 times with butthole passing very close to humans face each time. Settle down in humans armpit area and pull arm around self. Use claws to ensure arm goes where it is wanted. Purr like a maniac. Decide love has not been shown and rectify by massive head bonk along with extremely loud purring. Repeat circling and arm moving. Try to bathe humans arm and make arm sore. Adjust arm every time human starts to drift off, liberal use of claws to ensure compliance. When human has drifted off, get up, smash face into the human face, purr, and begin the process over again. When human gets angry immediately begin snoring in adorable little snorts, termed kitty snortles. Human will settle back in.

That went on for about 2 hours. I finally gave up and got up. I love snuggling with fuzzy creatures but head bonks while nauseous with a headache is just too much love. As I type this she is being kicked off the other couch for trying to snuggle with Mancandy and using her claws on his leg. It’s a hard life for the queen of the household.

As an aside, I had to rescue her from the front porch where a group of birds decided to corner her and screech her to death. She’s not exactly skilled at catting.

Tsuki Tongue Attack

Further proof the catting is not strong with this one.